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TRP: Hansel, Kheman, and Larkin (Achim)
Jen: ''' Day 207, the Greenhand's pub. Kheman rests and Hansel and Larkin are talking again. Larkin had brought her father the glass of water he'd asked for but by the time she came back into the room, he had fallen asleep again. Luci assured he everything was fine and he just needed some rest and, with some gentle but stern convincing, ordered her out of the room. This wasn't... fine, but it was alright. Larkin didn't know the girl very well but she seemed like she knew what she was doing. Trusworthy. It's be alright. That left her without anything to do, though. She thought about going to Goro but she'd lost sight of him in the pub and didn't feel comfortable about straying too far from the door. In the end, she settled on pulling her chair over to sit next to Hansel, the door between them, the both of them guarding Kheman. '''Izzy: Hansel had relaxed enough to lean against the wall, a bit. Place seemed safe. He was still keeping his eye out for any pirates, but there was no reason Jones would know where to find them, and he kept telling himself that there were enough of them to deal with her, anyway. Mishka and Goro were out of magic, and Roddy was low, at least, but there was him and Raef, still, and Jonn and Luci, and Larkin and whoever she could get to help them. How many people would that be, he wondered, looking out across the bar. If Jones and her crew came in -- or the Sanguines -- or any fucking body else -- would the people in here rally around the last Bashas in Skyport, or would they run, or would they join what seemed to be the winning side? He shifted his grip on his trident. Well, he'd fucking turned the tide of a battle or two in his life. He'd keep doing it. "Hey. Achi." He glanced Larkin's way. Kheman was all right, now. Awake. Just needed rest. "What's next? Gather up your crew -- gang or whatever -- see how many you've got left?" Jen: ''' Larkin nodded, caught up in thought. She kept watching her few allies milling about. Not the usual cheery bustle in here, more like a fucking funeral feast. He's not dead, she wanted to shout at them, he's coming back! But for what? Bretta was right. There wasn't anything Renar could come back to, now, and he wouldn't as long as the Sanguines were this strong. No, if she wanted things back to normal, Larkin would have to do it herself. She nodded again, more vigorously, and added, "won't be much, but I gotta work with what's there. We killed a bigger fish with less resources, didn't we." She managed a smirk. '''Izzy: "Hmm." He mulled it over. "Thing with Diva was we just had to cut off the head. This Sanguine shit -- fuckin' hydra and all. Lotta heads to cut off." He tapped the end of his trident against the floor. "Wonder if there's a smarter way to kill a hydra. You think if we kill the Queen, the guild gives up, or Wyn keeps going?" Jen: ''' "Well...don't know. But seems simple enough to me, no? We kill the Queen, we can pick off the Wyn's when they're left." '''Izzy: "Yeah, but ... she got a first mate? Kinda seems like it's just her, I dunno. Her and herself," he muttered. Fucking weird situation. "Guild's fucking big, is all. Seems like if we cut down Wyn, someone else'll just take her place. Wonder how we can burn it all out at once, or ... make'em not a fucking threat anymore, somehow." Jen: ''' Larkin didn't answer for a moment, humming under her breath. Burn it out all at once. Maybe there was something there. "Has Jonn ever told you where their guild hall is?" '''Izzy: "Nah. Big fucking secret." He glanced over to Jonn and Roddy playing darts. "Might now, though." Kid had been loyal to Helena -- fucking Helena Baron -- but he wasn't to Wyn. And Hansel had just ... never asked. "You thinkin', uh. Literal burning out? Y'know how I feel about burning shit." Jen: ''' She glanced over, giving him an evil grin. "I also got a some feelings about burning shit. Why not give Wyn a piece of our mind, huh? Like you said-" Larkin snapped her fingers. "Get 'em all at once." '''Izzy: "Have to get as many as possible at once," Hansel thought aloud. "Jonn told me there used to be bunkrooms at the guildhall -- thieves sleeping there, and shit. Get'em at night, or if they're having some sorta guild meeting, maybe." Then he clicked his tongue. "Wouldn't want Wyn to be there, though. Just make more problems if she died before the Queen." Goro was pretty fucking determined to save her, too. Hansel didn't really get why, but still. "It's takin' out just one ship in a flotilla," he said, "'cause they got other cities, more people, but it might send a message. Either way, still taking out that one ship, though." Jen: ''' "Less cannons to our broad side," she agreed. "I'm gonna ask Jonn... or Finch, he's tell. We can arrange something. Get everything ready so we just have to wait for the perfect moment to attack." Like the day of Renar's wedding, when one of his rivals thought he could take out him and his heads all at once by setting the warehouse cellar on fire. Larkin would've thought it a damn good plan, if she hadn't been caught up in the midst of it. '''Izzy: Hansel was silent, for a moment. "Y'know, she's got -- fuckin' however many cities. Gotta be people've tried shit like that before, right? I mean, your uncle tried to fight her, bet Baron did, too. Maybe there's somewhere they fucking pulled it off. Or maybe we could get more numbers from the fuckin' people she screwed outta their positions, before. Hey." He tapped his trident, thinking of something. "Hey, the Basha's got allies in Moorland, yeah? The fuckin', uh. Whatever their name is. Maybe we get in touch with what's left of them, get'em here -- fuckin' fortify for after the Sanguines're burned out, keep Wyn from just coming back. Be ready for her this time." Jen: ''' "Melaine, yeah." Larkin nodded, chewing on her lip. "I can... get in touch but I doubt they got much to chip in right now. From what I know they're down to beingnothing more than figureheads." They'd have to get the Sanguines out of Moorland and the city back into Melaine hands before the family could do anything to help their Basha allies. But if they could manage... if only. '''Izzy: "Other cities, then. Enemy of my enemy shit -- shouldn't be hard to win people over. Apparently she's got Gentleglen, city-state that overlooks my hometown. I'll, uh --." He was going to say that he and Mishka would scout it out, but humans might be a better fit for that job. He glanced over his shoulder for a second, at the closed door. "Luci and Jonn can check it out. You and Goro could go back to Sienna Springs. Raef could try Alabaster, maybe. Me and Mishka'll keep Kheman safe. I mean, I'll -- fuckin' keep outta sight, but I'll be here." Jen: ''' "I'd rather- damn." Larkin kept looking away, down at her feet. She felt like objecting but actually, all he'd said made perfect fucking sense. Still..."You know Pa's still fucking terrified of you, right? What if... man, I should really tell him you're here." '''Izzy: "Yeah, that's why I'm fuckin' out here." He looked down for a second, then back up to the kids, and shrugged his shield on his back. "Like I said, stay outta sight. Maybe use Mishka's mask, y'know, case he catches a glimpse. I don't wanna fucking scare him." Jen: ''' "You can't hide from him in here forever is what I'm saying." Larkin sighed and glanced back at the door as well. "Maybe I'll... I'll tell him when he wakes up again. Tell him how you went to rescue him." '''Izzy: Hansel shifted uncomfortably. "Dunno. I can hide from him pretty fuckin' good, if ..." If he used the mask, he was going to say, but then -- someone might slip up and call him by name, or Kheman would recognize his body language and the way Mishka was around him, or he'd remember Jonn and Luci's names and wonder why Hansel Fucking Granger's kids were around. "Shit. I mean, I can -- shit." He looked down again. "If you think it'd help. I don't fuckin' know." Jen: ''' "Me neither, man, but... fuck. I don't want my dad to spend the rest of his life terrified of you." '''Izzy: "Yeah. Me fuckin' either." He raised his head to look across the bar, to Mishka and Raef playing cards. "Y'know, I figured if I just fucking stayed away, he'd be all right, but I know he's fuckin' not, and maybe -- I dunno, maybe if he got to fuckin' punch me in the face, or something, he'd feel better." Jen: ''' Larkin snorted. "You think that'd be enough?" What if, though? What if somehow Larkkin could convince her dad to talk to Hansel? Kheman only knew the bare minimum about the whole possession deal, and likely it wouldn't change anything, but maybe if he knew it'd be... different, somehow. Easier. '''Izzy: "Pfff. Probably fuckin' not," he muttered. He didn't have time to get stuck in his own head about how he could never fucking make up for what he'd done, Gruumsh or no. Pushed it aside. "Never enough of a solve-problems-with-violence kinda guy. Make things fucking easier, though, eh." Jen: ''' "Yeah. I don't care what they say; violence is a fucking solution." '''Izzy: Hansel nodded solemnly and thunked his trident against the floor for emphasis. Hell of a lot easier than talking about your problems if you could just stab'em. "Shame it doesn't fuckin' work for everything." Jen: ''' "You think..." she said after a moment of silence, her chin resting on her hands folded on the chair's back, "You think you could... maybe talk with him? Someday?" '''Izzy: He looked back to the floor. When he'd first found out Kheman was alive, all he'd fucking wanted was to talk to him. There wasn't anyone else -- Hansel thought he was dead, thought no one else had survived. Then he'd realized pretty fucking quickly that was like a shark wanting to talk to a sailor it'd bitten the arms and legs off of. "Dunno what there is to say," he said quietly. "If he doesn't wanna fuckin' yell at me, I mean, I got nothin'. Coyote: Kheman woke slowly, and groggily. The drug they’d given him still made him feel slow and sluggish. Water. He needed water. He wasn’t sure about going outside. He wasn’t sure who was there. Maybe no one— maybe just the cleric and Larkin. There had been others, though, Larkin had said. Kheman wondered if he was safe here, if they were still around. Larkin had named Mishka specifically. Kheman shifted uneasily, remembering vaguely that, objectively speaking, the captain had fucking sold them out and stolen their entire fucking livelihood from them, once. As much as he appreciated Mishka sending him to the Sanctuary, he couldn’t shake the feeling that Mishka was an untrustworthy bastard who’d turn on folks as soon as it suited him. It was nice that apparently Mishka had come to help rescue him, but... fifty-fifty chance Mishka had only done it because he hated Jonesy and wanted her dead. Kheman shook his head, trying to shake away the vague uneasiness. He wondered who else was here. He stepped outside. Then he caught sight of Hansel Granger standing next to his tiny, vicious daughter and froze. Jen: ''' Larkin turned at the sound of the door. There, pale at death and wide eyed, stood her dad in doorway and stared at Hansel. "Pa!" Larkin sprang to her feet and got between them, tried to push her father back into the room with both hands in his chest. "It's alright, Pa," she said, "It's alright, he won't hurt you." '''Izzy: Hansel stared at Kheman. He'd been so focused on keeping threats out of the room that he hadn't even thought -- He took a couple long steps back, thinking he should drop his trident -- and, god, his axes -- and his fuckin' teeth if possible -- but at the end of it he'd still be the person Kheman had watched butcher their crew. Couldn't drop that. He just stared, horrified. Coyote: For a second, Kheman thought about the days he’d hid on the ship. Crammed into a tiny cabinet. Crawling out at night while Hansel slept to fish in the water with bits of flesh— bits of his friends. He thought about the thudding of Hansel’s trident as he walked about the deck, searching for Kheman in the storm. Kheman swallowed back bile. Flight or fight kicked in. He should’ve been scared, but instead he was just angry— or maybe he was scared and angry, both. He did the first thing he could think of: he tore away from Larkin. He stood in front of her to protect her; to protect his daughter. Then he drew back his arm and punched Hansel, hard as he could. Just bruised his fucking knuckles. Kheman jerked back in horror of what he’d done, thinking, Oh god. Oh Eldath. Oh, Selune. Hansel would kill him. Fly into a rage and kill him and hurt Larkin. Izzy: Hansel flinched. Kheman was ... not a strong man. Never had been, and was even less so after what they'd been through. He must be fucking furious, though -- protecting Larkin, god -- because he managed to pinch Hansel's lip between tusk and knuckles enough that it started bleeding. The sharp taste of blood filled Hansel's mouth, and he raised a hand to it automatically, feeling ill, feeling himself blanch. He took another couple steps back and held that hand palm out. "I'll fuck off. I'll go." He looked to Larkin, small behind her dad. "I'll watch the door outside." Jen: ''' "Fuck-" Larkin went after her dad, throwing her arms around him. "Yeah, do that. Fuckin' do that," she snapped at Hansel. Wasn't his fault, really- or maybe it was, for being here. God damn. Any way, this was just what she'd tried to avoid. Larkin just hoped her father would calm down and not go into a panic attack. She took him by the arms, sliding around to get herself between him and the rest of the room, pushing him back harder. "C'mon, Pa, please." '''Izzy: "Yup. Yup." Hansel turned on his heel and went for the door, not bolting like he wanted to and covering his mouth with his hand to keep from alarming anyone. Coyote: Kheman let Larkin push him back, too stunned to do anything else. He couldn’t ignore the anxiety pounding through him, making him feel sick. But he glanced back nervously, noting a few things. Hansel didn’t hit him back. Hansel didn’t fucking… attack him, or hurt him, or… attack Larkin. Hansel just walked off, Back on the ship, Kheman had wondered if he’d misjudged Hansel. Hansel had been such a-- well, such a lovable oaf, back then. Prickly, sure. Murderous, sure. But loyal. Yeah, Hansel brutally slaughtered their enemies, but he was their murderous Weapon’s Master. And then Mishka had stolen everything, and Hansel had gotten quiet, and pale, and angry, and he’d never-- been quite the same, since then. And then the shipwreck had happened and he’d ripped them all apart, one by one. But here he was. Looking like the same lovable oaf again. Looking like Kheman had punched him in the gut. Refusing to fight back. Walking away. Kheman didn’t say anything. Instead, he just leaned over and threw up into the wastebasket Luci had brought him earlier. “It’s fine,” he managed. “It’s fine.” Jen: ''' Larkin patted his back, biting the inside of her cheek in anger over herself. "Sorry, Pa," she said. "I- should've told you or- not let him in. But he wanted to guard you, you know. I didn't think you'd....well. See him." That last part came out weak and quiet, and Larkin hated how stupid it sounded in hindsight. Of course Kheman had been bound to see that huge fucking hallf-orc standing outside his door. What had she been thinking? '''Coyote: Kheman shook it off. “It’s fine.” His eyes focused on the door. “Uh. Mishka— Captain Haeth— Mishka. He came by the Sanctuary with some... cock-and-bull story about... about a god possessing Hansel, making him... eat the crew and kill us all...” Kheman didn’t believe Mishka. An ancient orc god of war possessing Hansel— Yeah, that sounded like one of Mishka’s bullshit stories. But Larkin would tell him the truth. Jen: ''' "It's fucking true I guess. I mean- who know's, really, but I've seen it happen. Don't fucking believe it's an act, so..." Larkin glanced over her shoulder nervously. Hansel was gone and the handful other peopple hiding out at the Greenhand's were caught up in their drinking and sulking. No one wanted a brawl in here but apparently, Hansel walking off had settled the few that had gotten agitated. '''Coyote: Kheman stared at her in horror. “Hansel Granger... gets possessed... by a god,” Kheman said slowly. “And it’s happened again. And you saw it.” Oh god. This was worse, somehow. Had Hansel eaten more people? In front of Larkin? Jen: ''' "Well, uh..." put like that it sounded fucking horrific, not reassuring at all. "Well, yeah, but... Pa, we got it. Alright? He's fighting it. He's fighting the damn thing." Oh, great, look at her now. Defending Hansel fucking Granger in front of her father instead of going out and sticking something between the half-orc's ribs to just fucking settle this once and for all. '''Coyote: Kheman shifted uneasily. He found himself looking in the direction Hansel had gone, studying it. Yeah, it was-- fucking terrifying, but also... Kraken's teeth. That was his crewmate out there, the one he'd nearly died with, that saved his life loads of time. Guilty settled in his gut. Kheman rubbed his head. "Not, uh, not likely to h-happen again? Be nice to... go say hi, or... something. Just, uh, don't fucking want to get murdered." Jen: ''' "What, really?" Larkin stared at him. "I mean... no, he won't, he... Pa, are you sure? I could, y'know, if you want me to tell him something I could do that." '''Coyote: “No, no. Nothing. I just...” Kheman lapsed into silence. He and Hansel were the only survivors of that shipwreck. They’d butchered and eaten people together. Kheman had spent many nights lying awake, wishing someone else had survived instead of him. He wondered if Hansel ever thought about that, too. “Suppose it might help,” Kheman said, his throat closing up. “Y’know. To... to know how it was for him.” Jen: ''' Kheman's voice broke and Larkin's chest felt tight. She threw her arms around him again. "It's okay, Pa. Should I, uh... should I go tell him? Or do you wanna..." '''Coyote: “Yeah.” Oh god, what if Kheman just... went to talk to him, and it startled him, and it startled him so much he... got possessed again and ate people... Okay, hang on. Larkin seemed to think chances of another possession were low. Right. Larkin was a clever girl, and not a liar. Renar has raised her right, in a lot of ways. “If you could,” Kheman said, “tell him I’d— like to talk.” Jen: ''' "Okay." She let go of him and straightened up. "Wait here." '''Coyote: Kheman stayed there, watching her go. Jen: ''' "Be right back," Larkin told the two bouncers at the door as she walked past and they nodded. Hansel was just outside, looking every bit as miserable as she'd expected. "Hansel," she said, and jerked her head in the direction of the door. "He wants to talk to you." '''Izzy: Hansel froze and stared at her. "What." Jen: ''' She tilted her head. "Don't you... want to? Wasn't fucking easy for him to decide, y'know." '''Izzy: "I ..." Fuck. Fuck, he hadn't -- he hadn't considered Kheman would want to talk to him. Send Larkin out to tell him to fuck off and stay away from her maybe, but they didn't need to be face to face for that. He didn't know what the hell to say to Kheman. Just wanted him to be angry and betrayed and fucking hate him. Maybe -- maybe Kheman just wanted to talk to him to make the message of 'fuck off and stay away from my daughter' clearer. That was ... yeah, Hansel could deal with that. He swallowed. "Nah, I -- I will. I do." Then what? Fucking who knew. He straightened and waited for Larkin to lead him back in. Jen: ''' Back inside, Larkin made Hansel wait outside the storage room while she stuck her head in. "He's here," she told Kheman. "You still sure?" '''Coyote: Kheman steadied himself. “Yeah,” he said. “Send ‘im in.” Jen: ''' Larkin opened the door all the way and nodded at Hansel. '''Izzy: He hesitated for a moment, then passed Larkin his trident, and pulled the axes from his belt to give them to her, too. Felt like he should be completely unarmed, but short of chaining his hands up and muzzling him, there wasn't any way to do that. What if there was thunder? What if the sky wasn't clear and the sea wasn't calm -- red sky at dawn and blood in the water -- what if it happened again. He glanced over his shoulder for a second. Mishka was here. Out of magic, but here to talk him down -- and Roddy and Jonn and Luci, too, and Goro in the alley. All right. All right. He stepped into the room, hands behind his back. It was fucking difficult to look at his brother, but he made himself do it -- god, he was pale from being inside at the Sanctuary, and still thin and haggard somehow. Looked ill, though it might've been from the drug. Or just from being in the same room as Hansel. Hansel kept his distance, and didn't say anything. Coyote: Kheman shifted uneasily when Hansel entered the room. Unarmed. Holding his arms behind his back, for some reason, all pale and haggard. Kheman hesitated. He came over to pat Hansel on the back, then stopped instead, and opened his arms gingerly for a hug. Eh. He’d lived long enough. Might as well die today. Izzy: Hansel locked up with indecision. He didn't want to fucking hurt Kheman -- shouldn't touch him. Not that he was fuckin' planning to hurt him, it was just habit, trying to make people feel safer by staying back, holding his hands away from them. Drawing his shoulders in to make himself that little bit smaller. He'd never done that with Kheman, with anyone on the Blade, because the childhood habit faded until after the storm, when he'd remembered that he was terrifying and dangerous and a horrible fucking monster, and ... Kheman was trying to hug him, though, and he thought of Leigh grabbing him after twenty years of being apart. He'd never shied away from touching the crew, picking them up and carrying them and hugging them hard enough to lift'em off the ground (except Mishka, and him even more than the rest, eventually). Wouldn't make any fuckin' sense to Kheman if he just -- didn't. And he wanted to. God, he really fucking wanted to. Very, very fucking carefully, and slowly, he drew his arms out from behind his back put them around his brother, not really squeezing at all, just kind of holding him, a bit, making it clear that he could pull away if he changed his mind about this, or -- or if Hansel had misread the situation, somehow. He was already primed to bolt if that was what he needed to do. Coyote: Ah. Okay. Alright. This was, uh, this was fine. Kheman patted Hansel a bit, because that seemed right, then let go and moved away. He remembered, briefly, watching Hansel crush a man to death once, and shuddered. Kheman cleated his throat. “Fucking Mishka...” Hm. Hansel might not appreciate that. Mishka had implied they were back together, but maybe that had just been wishful thinking on Mishka’s part. “Mishka said a god possessed you and it wasn’t your fault,” Kheman said awkwardly. “And... I mean, I figured, Mishka, y’know... but— Larkin, she says it’s true.” Izzy: Hansel pulled away as soon as Kheman let go, hands automatically slipping behind his back again, one hand gripping the other wrist to hold them both still. He tensed when Kheman shuddered, almost taking a step back, readying himself to turn, but Kheman settled. "Yeah," he said slowly. Sometimes he didn't even believe it himself. "Yup. Sounds like bullshit, I know, but ... Yeah." Coyote: “A fucking— god, Hansel? What god?” A god, Kheman marveled. A real god, possessing Hansel, of all people. Izzy: "Gruumsh." He wasn't sure if Kheman'd know who that was. "Fuckin' ... orc god of war and storms, and shit." He paused. "Me and Mishka're gonna kill him." Coyote: Kheman stared at Hansel, nodding slowly. “You and Mishka are... gonna kill him.” Izzy: "Yeah. Y'know, fuck Gruumsh." He should probably fucking explain more, or something. "I mean, not just the two of us -- whole group of people, the ones who came to get you back from Jonesy." He avoided calling them his crew. "S'gonna be fine." Coyote: Kheman stared at Hansel. Hansel stared back. Kheman resisted the urge to ask if Hansel was gonna eat them, too, because as funny as that seemed, Kheman knew better than to prod the bear. He continued nodding instead. “Right.” He glanced at Larkin. “Why’d— they come get me? They Basha men, working for Larkin?” Izzy: "Oh, nah, uh." Fuck, did Kheman know what'd become of his brother's empire, yet? He glanced at Larkin too, but went on, "Nah, just Larkin's friends." Coyote: “Oh.” Kheman crossed his arms, shifting. “Sometimes I think about it,” he said suddenly, staring at Hansel. “I think... I think why us and why not... why not one of the others, like... like that little bird kid, y’know, the one that always... followed you around. Why didn’t he survive? Why not— Serena? Could’ve had a good long life, Serena. Why not Hunter?” His voice was low and hoarse, and it hurt to speak. “I think, why— fucking Kheman? And why you and why me? It’s almost like we’re... fucking cursed to live on. We were the ones who did it, who killed Elitash and cut them up. Maybe you and me are cursed because of it, and that’s why we survived. To suffer for what you and me did.” Kheman paused, swaying. “But— I’m glad you’re not dead, Hansel. I’m glad you’re not dead. And I’m glad I’m not dead, too.” He clapped Hansel on the arm, because that was easier than hugging him. Izzy: Hansel gave him a long, agonized look as he talked. Yeah, Hansel probably was fucking cursed, but he -- not him. It was just fucking luck, bad or good, or it was Kheman having the sense to hide somewhere Hansel couldn't find him, it was ... He opened and closed his mouth a couple times. "I think," he tried. God. "I think ... I think it was fuckin' chance. I don't think you're supposed to suffer, you didn't -- you don't deserve that, and I'm -- I'm so fucking sorry for -- I mean, Gruumsh or fuckin' whatever, I know, but I was still the one that you had to watch --." He was getting off track. He swallowed. "I just mean -- listen, if it was anything, it wasn't 'cause you were meant to suffer. It's 'cause you got Larkin. Right? Fuckin' Selune or someone watched out for you to make sure you got home to your girl." His voice cracked a little. "That's what I think." Coyote: Kheman swallowed. “Yeah. That’s a... nice thought, I guess.” He patted Hansel again. “Maybe you too, huh? Somebody— looking out for us.” Izzy: Hansel couldn't hold in a completely humorless laugh. Yeah. Fucking Gruumsh looked out for him. I'm not done with you. Couldn't have his plaything wasting away in the middle of the ocean. Coyote: Kheman started to laugh. And when he started to laugh, he couldn’t stop; it was almost hysterical. He instantly recognized the look on Hansel’s face and knew what he was thinking: They weren’t saved, they weren’t goddamn lucky, and no god was looking out for them. Surviving wasn’t a mercy. Elitash, who had gone first, and died quickly and quietly with people who loved her. That’d been a mercy. “Yeah,” Kheman said. “I fucking know, Hansel. I fucking know.” And he hugged Hansel for a long moment, glad to have him back. Izzy: Hansel hugged him back hesitantly, still carefully, patting his back a little. He couldn't shake the feeling that this was unearned -- all this time he'd spent staying away from Kheman, knowing Kheman had nightmares about him and what he'd done. All this time accepting that he was the monster in Kheman's story, and deserved to be framed that way, even if Gruumsh had been puppeting him at the time. This was too ... easy, and ... okay, and -- it just felt entirely, completely wrong, like he'd lied to Kheman somehow and confused him into thinking they could be crewmates again, could be friends, could still be achim. Hansel wanted that, god knew. Just didn't deserve it. He needed someone to remember to fucking hate him for what he'd done, and if it wasn't Larkin, wasn't Mishka, wasn't Kheman, he didn't -- He held his breath for a moment, let Kheman hold onto him as long as he wanted. He knew that made people feel safe, sometimes, as fucking inexplicable as it was, and he wasn't going to take that feeling away from his brother. When Kheman did let go, though, Hansel stepped away. "I should go," he said lowly. "Keep watch. Guard the door." Coyote: Kheman nodded, overwhelmed. Yeah, he was pretty sure he was gonna throw up again. He stumbled back towards the bed. He raised a hand to wave goodbye. “Hansel,” he said. “We should talk.” Nah, Hansel didn’t fucking talk. “Or maybe just— drink. Lots of drinking.” Izzy: Hansel nodded, backing away. Drinking. He could do lots of drinking, yes. Maybe some talking. After he'd done enough drinking you usually couldn't stop him from talking. For now, though, his throat felt closed up, and he didn't know what to say. He paused by Larkin to get his gear back, and then turned to the outside door. Fresh air would be good. Jen: ''' Larkin handed Hansel back his weapons and glanced after him as he left. She waited until he was outside to turn to her father. He had sat down on the bed, looking pale and anxious. "Are you alright?" She asked, sitting down next to him. '''Coyote: “Better,” Kheman said. “I’m better.” Jen: ''' Larkin made sure Kheman really meant it, then left to get some more water. When she came back, though, he'd curled up on the cot and dozed off again. She set the water down on a barrel next to him and closed the door. She found Hansel in the alley outside the pub, standing in the same spot as before, looking just as freaked out. '''Izzy: A few deep breaths helped. He'd thought about grabbing Mishka -- or Jonn -- on the way out, but he knew that if he had someone to talk to and fucking cry to, he'd do it, and he needed to stay ready to fight. Keep alert. He shook his head and pounded his trident against the street a couple time, shaking it off. Calm. He was a fucking lake. When Larkin stuck her head out of the door, he bristled a little, reflexively, before registering that it was her and standing down. Then, immediately, the nerves he'd shaken off crashed back into him. God, fuck, had that gone well? Did Kheman feel ... better? (Did Hansel?) Was this what Larkin had hoped for? Or -- the start of it, at least, maybe? "Hey." He paused, figuring there was something else he ought to say. "He ... all right?" Jen: ''' "He's sleeping again," Larkin said. She closed the door and leaned against the wall beside it, glancing around the alley. All empty. Good. "He's... okay, I guess," she added, realizing she hadn't really answered the question. '''Izzy: He swallowed. "Is it ... Is that what you wanted?" Jen: ''' Larkin looked at him puzzled. "Me?" '''Izzy: "I mean." He floundered for what he meant. "Y'know, d'you ... want us to fuckin' get along, or just ... want him to not have nightmares anymore? I can keep my distance if you don't want me around him. Wouldn't blame you." Jen: ''' She continued to stare for a moment longer. God, what a mess this guy was. Look at him. She gnawed on her lower lip, trying to think. He needed someone to comfort him. Maybe she should go find Goro, or... or maybe she could do it herself, now? Kheman had said he was alright but what he hadn't said, and what Larkin hadn't dared ask yet was, how he felt about Hansel now. Larkin didn't know. So she just shrugged and glanced away. "I... you know, that's not up to me. If you're supposed to keep your distance. I mean- he fucking hugged you, right? Not a lot of distance there." '''Izzy: "Yeah," Hansel said slowly. He was still fuckin' processing that. "I never thought -- y'know, uh." God, Larkin didn't want to hear about his nightmares and the days he'd spent lying in bed, feeling sorry for himself, and the hours he'd stared vacantly at walls and ceilings, imagining what Kheman would want from him or do to him. When Mishka hadn't known -- he'd thought Hansel should hang. And he hadn't known the worst of it, hadn't been on the ship hiding like a rat, watching someone he trusted tear apart all their friends. Hansel was a fucking pro at feeling sorry for himself, but he felt more sorry for Kheman. "I never fucking thought he'd wanna touch me," he said finally. "'Less it was to punch me or strangle me or -- something. I never thought ... I dunno. Dunno what do with that." Jen: ''' Larkin scratched the back of her neck, still not looking his direction. "Yeah," she said. Wondered what comforting thing there was she could say but blanked. He was fucking right. "Didn't expect that either." '''Izzy: He kept staring at the ground, and muttered, "Be a lot fucking easier if he just wanted to kill me." Jen: ''' "Fuckin'- can you quit that already?" Larkin snapped. "Look at you. Pa's mad at you, you're a miserable fucking sod who wants to die. Pa's hugging you and talking to you and you're still a miserable fucking fucker who wants to die. Make up your damn mind, will ya." '''Izzy: He scoffed and glanced away. "Listen, I'm just fuckin' saying --." He tapped his trident. Exactly what the fuck was he saying? "It'd be easier if violence was the answer, is all. I don't know how to fuckin' ... talk to him and hug him after what I did. That shit's a lot more fucking complicated." Jen: ''' "Wasn't exactly easy for him either," she said, looking Hansel in the eye now. "But he's tried." '''Izzy: "Yeah, well, if it's what he wants, I'll fuckin' try too," Hansel muttered. Jen: ''' Larkin looked a way again and was silent for a long moment, mulling over what else to say. Didn't sound like he was fucking happy her dad had forgiven him, or... well, he hadn't said that, had he? Was that it? Did Hansel want forgiveness or something else? She glanced at him again, standing silent and looking like he was only half present on the material plane. Nah, that wasn't a man who wanted to have happiness handed to him. "He's not forgiven you," Larkin said. "He didn't say you could stop blaming yourself. He just didn't wanna be scared of you anymore." '''Izzy: Hansel nodded. "Yeah. Yeah." They probably weren't going to be ... friends, again. Definitely not crew, not brothers -- Hansel had to stop thinking of him that way, like he'd had to stop thinking of Mishka as his husband (except that he hadn't done a very good fucking job of that, and it'd fucked Mishka up; had to be careful; better to not say anything). Kheman said he wanted to talk, and talking could mean anything. He'd said he was glad Hansel wasn't dead, and -- that could mean different things, too. Kheman had hugged him, though. Twice. Maybe just to prove to himself that he could. Maybe it was like carrying a kid who was afraid of water out into the shallows, and holding onto them, showing them that it was safe until they were able to swim on their own. And then -- once Kheman didn't need him around to remember to not be afraid -- Kheman could swim again. Maybe he could go back out to sea. God, it broke Hansel's heart, him being stuck in the Sanctuary, when all he wanted was to be out to sea. So maybe Hansel could do that for him. Still didn't make up for anything. But it was something he could do to fucking mitigate the damage he'd caused. "Yeah," he said again, quietly. "I can help with that." Jen: ''' "Okay." Larkin nodded as well. "That, uhm... that helping?" '''Izzy: Hansel stared at the ground for a long moment, then shrugged and grunted noncommittally. That was ... about all he had in him. Jen: ''' "Yeah. Hm." Seemed fair. Larkin considered going back into the pub and leaving Hansel to it but... her father slept and she didn't feel like having any other company. At least Hansel wasn't going to attempt small talk. She went back inside, and a few minutes later emerged with a match and two cigarettes in hand. She lit one and held the other out to Hansel. '''Izzy: Hansel straightened a bit when she left, reminding himself that he was on fuckin' guard duty, here, not having emotions duty. He pushed it down. He'd deal with it later, when Kheman was safe and when he had Mishka to watch his back and Goro to hold onto him. (Kheman had said we should talk and Hansel wondered if they could just talk about Elitash playing poker with them, and Corven unflinchingly bailing them out when they got in over their heads in that Calish gambling den, and the little wooden chest Siobhan had made for Larkin's treasures, and Serena sighing and making them tea when they both got too fucking drunk to walk ...) No talking right now. As little thinking as possible. Hansel shook it off, pushed it down. When Larkin came back he tried to not let on that he was pleased about it, because that, after all, would be having emotions. She was good company, though. He shook his head at the cigarette. "Thanks. Things'll kill you, though, y'know. Breathin' in smoke. Nah." Jen: ''' Larkin shrugged and stuffed the smoke into a pocket. "What doesn't." She took a deep drag and held it for a moment, looking out over the alley and the street beyond. It was kind of quiet right now. Not many people around, and only a few of them looking their direction. When some did, especially those with red clothing on their person, Larkin glared at them, hand at the dagger hilt at her hip. None of them decided to take it up with her, though, and Hansel's presence certainly made a most of them recalculate their chances. Together, they stood watch and Larkin found herself glad she'd chosen to come back out here. Made her feel productive. More collected. '''Izzy: Hansel shrugged back. Shit, couldn't argue with that. He tapped his trident against the street and leaned against the wall, putting out the vibe of a sleeping bear that shouldn't be poked. That usually fuckin' worked. END Title: Achim. Summary: Hansel helps Larkin strategize on ways to get back at the Sanguine Guild for destroying her life. Then, Kheman wakes up, and he and Hansel see each other for the first time since the storm. Hugs occur. Category:Text Roleplay